Archive for August, 2007
I’ll carry you…
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.
I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office… jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind… I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote:
‘I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart’
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
Add comment August 24, 2007
Almond Crisps
Almond Crisps broken into pieces
ready to be eaten
and here my son enjoying the new snack 
Add comment August 21, 2007
Sunrise and Sunset in Hong Kong
This is an interesting link. Move your mouse up and down to see the effect!!
Add comment August 20, 2007
More Cuppie Cupcakes
cuppie cupcakes ~ the raw stuff!!
‘pai-seh’ – a hokkien word that means shy
2 comments August 15, 2007
Song : Tu Amor by RBD
|
Mi amor I’m not sure of the right words to say
Maybe these simple words will do best to best explain
What I feel in my heart
What I feel more each day
How to make you see
How to let you know
How to say how to say how I love you so
With words you understand
Words that get right through to your heart
Here’s the place to start
Chorus:
Tu Amor, I will always be
Tu Amor, means the world to me
Esteras siempre en mi corazon
You’re the one in my soul
And I live for tu amor, tu amor
Mi amor love you more with each look in your eyes
Maybe these simple words will do best to best describe
What I feel in my heart
What I’ll feel for all time
How to make you see
How to let you know
How to say how to say how
I need you
With words you understand
Words that get through to your soul
Words that will let you know
Chorus:
Tu Amor, I will always be
Tu Amor, means the world to me
Esteras siempre en mi corazon
You’re the one in my soul
And I live for tu amor, tu amor
Bridge:
You’re the one that
I need in my arms
Believe me these words
I say are words that come straight from my heart
How do I make you believe
Nothing else means as much as what you mean to me
Chorus:
Tu Amor, I will always be
Tu Amor, means the world to me
Esteras siempre en mi corazon
You’re the one in my soul
And I live for tu amor, tu amor
Add comment August 13, 2007
Pat a cake, pat a cake…..
Add comment August 12, 2007
Lousy n Bad Day!!!
Today is such a lousy day!!
Now it’s 4.00pm and I’m still in the office!! Been here since 9.30am!!
Missed Cavan’s Shichida class this morning and now missed his Kindermusik class as well. All these because the contractor that suppose to turn up at 9.30am to rectify my office pantry’s flooring only turned up at 12.45pm!!!!
Oh yah, my vent up frustration went to the installer for making me wait so long and now they are near finishing the job and what happen?? Not enough material woh….so one of the guy have to drive back to their HQ in Puchong to get more material!!!
On the other hand, I had to argue with the Kindermusik’s admin gal on the number of classes per payment. Not in the mood to explain it out here but it is no fault of ours. She miscalculated which led us to make the wrong decision and finally finally after voicing my frustration louder than her voice over the phone she understand our point and know where the error comes from. Hopefully I receive more pleasing news from her end.
Geez what other stuff are there to make this day more bleary than this??
Add comment August 11, 2007
Song : Starry Starry Night
Another song from the TVB drama Heart of Greed. Enjoy!
|
Vincent (Starry, Starry Night) Lyrics
by Don McLean
Starry, starry night.
Paint your palette blue and grey,
Look out on a summer’s day,
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills,
Sketch the trees and the daffodils,
Catch the breeze and the winter chills,
In colors on the snowy linen land.
Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they’ll listen now.
Starry, starry night.
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze,
Swirling clouds in violet haze,
Reflect in Vincent’s eyes of china blue.
Colors changing hue, morning field of amber grain,
Weathered faces lined in pain,
Are soothed beneath the artist’s loving hand.
Add comment August 4, 2007
